i’m just laying here in bed thinking. i’m know some people out there look at me like i’m some sort of joke. nothing serious. i’m not, though, not really. i just don’t think people imagine the things i have gone through as a person both recently and throughout my whole life. nobody really recognizes how little of a joke i actually am. there are things people will never know that i’ve experienced. i’m not trying to be pretentious about it. i’ve just lived enough life where people should be able to see me as a human being. not a punchline from a bad comedian’s set at open mic night.
i don’t like being the awkward feeling where you know you’re supposed to laugh but it is just so fucking sad you can’t even fake it.